This Just In--Theo Is Better Than Me

I give up, Theo Epstein is definitely a better GM than I am. I have been clinging to this notion that, given the resources, I could put together a ball club that is as good, or maybe even better, than the Brookline Boy Wonder. After living the "get-a-life" existence of a fantasy baseball GM for the last 15 years or so, I have exactly one championship. Same as Theo. However, unlike Theo, most other years have resembled the fate of my 2006 team: 9th place in a 10-team league. So all the posturing I did at the beginning of the year about my Bill James-esque roster skills disappeared quicker than Kirstie Alley's waistline. Basically, I'm really bad at this. And, apparently, Theo is really good.

So, all the criticism I have heaped on Mr. Epstein over the years (not that much, really--just the Nomar deal and middle relief miscues), I hereby rescind. Theo, you are the man, and I'm, well, not the man.

Evil Punk Not Drafted

Remember how annoying it was a while back to hear the stories about YankeePunk Jeffrey Maier tearing up whatever collegiate league he was playing in? All the pinstriped yahoos where chortling over the good fortune of the little jerk who, as a 12-year-old in 1996, illegally reached over the right-field wall at Yankee Stadium catching a Jeter fly ball that was ruled a home run. Of course, New York beat Baltimore and went on to win the first of 4 championships (although none yet in THIS century). As the Bronx Boors were so thrilled to point out, the YankeePunk set the Wesleyan University career hits record and was sure to be drafted by a major league club. Well, 148 rounds later, PunkBoy did not get the call and will have to work at a real job. There is some justice in the world.

Tavarez Must Go!

How many more disastrous outings do we need to see before the "Brain Trust" at Yawkey Way wakes up to the fact that their biggest off-season blunder was the signing of Julian Tavarez (closely followed by the signing of Rudy Seanez)? Tavarez is a walking time bomb—emotionally and professionally. Let's not even talk about his character (or lack thereof) that was on display earlier this year—resulting in a suspension. Last night's horror at the BaggieDome (Jason Kubel's walk-off salami on June 13th) was just the latest in a long string of appearances that have ranged from marginally crappy to outright Little League-esque.

Let's go to the numbers. Through the epic fiasco in the Metrodome (6/13), Julian has thrown 29.1 innings in which he has allowed at least 47 baserunners (34 hits, 13 BB), 21 runs—with an opponent batting average of .301. Oh, and his stellar ERA of 5.83 is hovering right around the Ramiro Mendoza Line. Simple solution: bite the bullet, release him and bring up Craig Hansen for good.

Larry Blow-Hard, NYY

I have never liked Larry Bowa. He always seemed to be one of those fake-bravado, charlie-hustle wannabees who talked way too much for his talent level as either a player or a manager. My prejudices were confirmed when I saw the following from Jorge Arangure Jr.'s piece in today's Washington Post: "Several Yankees, including third base coach Larry Bowa, were angered when Orioles center fielder Corey Patterson stole second and third base in the seventh with Baltimore holding a 10-4 lead." So apparently, Larry thinks it's an insult to try and pile up more than a six-run lead on his sainted pinstripes, who, by the way, came back from a 9-0 deficit this year to beat Texas. Occasionally, Phineas T. Bluster of the Bronx hires people who perfectly match his and his team's boorish personality. Mr. Larry Bowa fits it like a glove.