If I'm George "Phineas T. Bluster" Steinbrenner, I'm calling Commissioner Bud Selig today and demanding a new testing regimen: for Human Clutch Hormone (HCH). It's the only recourse for the Bronx Big Mouth if he wants to stop David Ortiz from (once again) ruining his Fall. How many times do you think he's called in that poor sap, Brian Cashman, to explain—one more time—why he didn't claim Papi off Team Wobegon's scrap heap?
Are there any more superlatives left for this guy? How many more times can Joe Castiglione shout, "Can you believe it?" before we all yell back, "Yes, we can!"? Ortiz has eight walk-off home runs (7 for the Sox) in just under 4 years of full-time play. Do you have any doubt that he will eventually pass all those (including Babe Ruth) currently ahead of him on the list? I don't care how many stat geeks de-bunk "clutch hitting" as a nonexistent phenomenon. It's real. Ask Fausto Carmona.
(Term "HCH" invented by FenwayNation Board member Henry Kanter)