Limited "Knot-Hole" Seating For 2008?

The scuttle-but around Yawkey Way is that Janet-Marie Smith may be taking a cue from the new Twins ballpark design—which will reportedly feature a 12-foot wide "knot-hole" in its outfield fence. Word has it that during the next off-season, the Red Sox will begin major excavation at their 95-year old ballpark to install 3,500 "Knot-Hole Seats" in the Green Monster.

The "Hole In The Wall Gang" season ticket package will offer lucky fans the ability to view the action from the perspective of the guy who works the scoreboard for 15-20 minute intervals. Designed on a time-sharing model, fans can buy—say—81 top of the 5th innings throughout the season. Such a full-season package would cost $12,750 (with a $32 handling fee). To accommodate the inevitable long lines behind the wall on Lansdowne Street, the club will offer affordable meal plans from their Aramark partners.

(It's sad to have to say this, but, the above is a parody)