Why We Hate Them

OK, look, I realize "hate" is a very strong term to use for anything related to sport. I also recognize that baseball is not as important as a whole host of other things in our lives: the health of our families and the security of our nation to name just two. So, why do I apply the term to a multi-billion dollar sports franchise in a decrepit borough of the City of New York? Here's why. They and their fans are the epitome of what is wrong with sports: arrogance, self-indulgent boastfulness, pettiness, unbridled greed, disrespect for the game, and general jerkiness.

The photo above tells all you need to know about the Bronx Culture that spawns Yankee fans. On October 9, 1996, 12-year old Jeffery Maier, reached over the right field fence to pull over the wall a Derek Jeter fly ball that was about to be caught by Baltimore Oriole right-fielder Tony Tarrasco. The Birds were ahead 4-3 in the 8th inning of Game 1 of the ALCS. The umpires (lacking the soon-to-be instant replay option) incorrectly ruled Jeter's flyout to be a home run. Game tied 4-4. The Yankees go on to win the game and the series as well as a tainted World Championship. Of course, if you look at the photo or view the video, you'll notice that there are three or four other up-standing Yankee "fans" ready to interfere with the play as well. It's just that the little cretin got there first. (By the way, to prove that there is some karma in the cosmos, Maier had his professional baseball career cut short by lack of talent a few years later).

But this incident is just one illustrative example of the wretchedness of "Yankee Universe". Space does not permit a full listing of the reasons for despising the pinstriped posers. But here's a try anyway: Suzyn Waldman and her orgasmic reaction to the return of the Texas Turncoat; B.F. Dent; A.F. Boone (and his jerk brother in the broadcast booth); A-Fraud; John Sterling and his moronic calls; the YES network's way-over-the-top "Yankeeography"; every Yankee goon who shows up at Fenway pre-drunk; the 1918 chant; Giambi's 1970's porn star mustache; Tom freakin' Tresh (for those over 50); monument park; Robert Merrill; all the crap this year surrounding "The Final Season".

But, take heart, the bums haven't won anything in almost 2, 900 days.

Bat O' Nine Tales

The idea of "critical must-wins" is an overused concept in baseball, what with the 6-month long odyssey that usually begins in a frigid Fenway and ends (hopefully) in a Duck Boat flotilla. But the next nine road games for the Red Sox arguably fit the description. After a schizophrenic home-stand (3-2), they head off to Baltimore, Toronto and Baghdad on the Hudson. All division rivals, all capable of beating a Boston team that has yet to address its biggest—and perhaps fatal—flaw: a horrific bullpen. Already armed with a robust 28-35 road record, they need to win at least six to stay competitive with the Rays (how stupid is that?). And you just know these are all going to be gut-wrenching, down to the wire games—even with the two lowly "birds of a feather" at the bottom of the division. And the Empire? Well, they're only 5 games in back of the Sox as we start the week. Need I say more?

The first game in Camden Yards should be a good test of where this team will end up. Our new ace—Jon Lester—takes the hill Monday night, with a chance of starting the road trip off right. On the other hand, the Birds' most consistent hurler—Jeremy Guthrie—will oppose Lester. And, the hottest hitter on the planet, Melvin Mora, is waiting with his .322 average against lefties. Don't forget Millar—you know what he wants to do. When we wake up on Friday morning, August 29th, we will pretty much know if this will be another legitimate run at a championship, or just playing out the string with Jason Bay and wondering if Manny can hit .350 in La-La Land.

Hey, Nation, Get Some Perspective!

The Mainstream Media has once again orchestrated a Witch Hunt that has resulted in a Hall-of-Fame player leaving Boston. Aren't they all just so self-important and special! And, once again, the "fan base" has, lemming-like, followed in lock-step during the Grand Manny Bash of 2008. Kind of reminds you of the Grand Nomar Bash of 2004, doesn't it?

Let's be clear, I'm not here to defend Manny's Boras-led tirade that ticked off John Henry and sent the dread-locked one packing. And, it does appear that Manny had few supporters left among his peers. But some of the same writers who make reference to this "loss of the clubhouse" are, as Charlie Pierce rightly points out, the same ones who decried the "lunatics running the asylum" problems of years past. You can't have it both ways.

And what is it about Red Sox fans? A curious hardball amnesia seems to set in about 20 seconds after the latest media-assigned "bad guy" boards his flight at Logan. Have you already forgotten about the walk-off against K-Rod in last year's playoffs; have you already forgotten about the World Series MVP of 2004; have you already forgotten about the protection provided to Big Papi; have you already forgotten about 274 HRs and 868 RBI in a Boston uniform; have you already forgotten that as little as 10 days ago you rose to your feet and chanted for this great evil-doer? Shame on you.

NOG Gets Hosed In Manny Deal

July 31, 2008—The New Ownership Group (NOG) of the Red Sox was so desperate to unload their Hall of Fame left-fielder that they: 1.) paid the balance of his $7 million salary; 2.) gave up on a young fire-balling reliever (Craig Hansen) who could some day soon be a dominant force; and 3.) gave up on a sweet-swinging left-handed outfielder (Brandon Moss). They also yielded the two number one draft picks they would have gotten when Manny walked this Winter, and completely ignored the most pressing problem facing the team: the non-Papelbon bullpen. In return, they get 8 months' worth of a nice 29-year old player named Jason Bay, who this scribe sincerely hopes flourishes in Boston. He is no Manny Ramirez, but maybe he will raise his level of play surrounded by better players than Ryan Doumit and Doug Mientkiewicz. Theo and the Trio had better hope so, because this is an awfully steep price to pay to rid themselves of the greatest right-handed slugger in Red Sox history.